The 7 Stages of Grief

Some of you have been through this many times and some it is the first time.  Grieving is  a process and it is sometime hard. You may want to give up and give in but you can't.  You have to find the strength to keep fighting no matter what!  Using these stages will help you with that.  

It is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next.  In  reality,  stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order.  So, why bother with stages at all? Because they are a good general guide of what to expect. 

Outsiders do not understand this, and feel that it should be time for you to "get over it" and rejoin the land of the living.  Just knowing that your desire to be alone with your sad reflections at this time is normal will help you deal with outside pressures.  You are acting normally.   

The 7 Stages of Grief 

• Shock and Denial 

You may deny the reality of the loss at some level , in order to avoid the pain.  Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.  This may last for weeks. 

• Pain and Guilt 

As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain.  Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. 

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do in your life.  Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase. 

•  Anger and Bargaining 

Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame.  Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result.  This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion. 

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?"  You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair.  

• Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness 

Just may you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you, this is a normal stage of grief.  Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving. 

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss.  You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did and focus on the memories if your life.  You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair. 

• The Upward Turn 

As you start to adjust to life, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized.  Your physical symptom lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly. 

• Reconstruction and Working Though 

As you become more functional, you mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life.  You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life. 

• Acceptance and Hope 

The last stage in grief, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation.  Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness.  Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy.  But you will find a way forward. 

You will start look forward and actually plan for a future, however long you may have.  You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, ever find joy again in the experience of living. 

From the website recovering-from-grief.com 

--with this article I have taken out and added some contents for this blog